THANK YOU & an Update

I am so grateful for all of the kind words that you all have shared here, on facebook, through texts, emails, etc.  (If I haven't gotten back to you yet I apologize- it has been one of the busiest days of my life!)  We are so appreciative of the prayers, the suggestions, and the love that each and everyone of you sent our way. Several of you shared my post and asked for prayers from your friends and family as well and for that I am so thankful.  The fact that you took the time out of your day to say a prayer for my child and to spread the request like wildfire via social media warms my heart and proves how great God's people are!  

At the pulmonologist appointment!

I figured that this would be the easiest way to provide an update, so here goes...

This morning I called the various urgent care and emergency room facilities that Everett has been seen in over these past few months in order to get his records because I was determined to get him into a specialist today.  I did a prayer-filled google search for a pediatric pulmonologist, found a reputable practice and dialed the number as soon as they opened.  It took a few tries to get through to the receptionist but when I finally did she was very helpful.  I briefly explained our situation and told her that we would be coming in and would sit in the waiting room all day if that is what it would take to be worked in.  She understood my urgency and was not only able to get us in, she scheduled us to see the doctor that I originally hoped we would see. God is so amazing! Our appointment was in the middle of the afternoon and the office was about an hour and a half away from our house.  After I hung up with them I called our allergist to see if we needed to go in to be seen beforehand and they asked that we bring him in around 11am.  

When we saw the allergist he was very supportive of our decision to pursue a second opinion and was happy that I was able to get Everett in so quickly.  He gave me a few notes on what he would do with the various medicines that Everett was on and asked that if the pulmonologist changed anything to have him send a note over to their office.  The timing of the appointments was perfect because we had enough time after the allergist to pick up the CD of Everett's chest x-ray from last night's urgent care visit and then head to the pulmonologist appointment.  Nolan was able to take a few really good naps in the car on the way to the next appointment and although Everett didn't sleep I am sure he enjoyed the time to relax and watch a movie on his DVD player. 

This is happening right now!

Tyler met me at the pulmonologist appointment which was great because I wanted us to both be there so that we wouldn't miss anything.  When we were called back we gave a short synopsis of what had been going on to the nurse and then waited for the doctor.  The whole time that we were there it just felt comforting, almost like I knew that we were finally on the right track and not going down another rabbit hole.  The doctor came in a few minutes later; he was very friendly and very knowledgeable.  He spent over thirty minutes going over Everett's symptoms and past medical history with us and asked us all sorts of questions, some we hadn't even thought of ourselves.  He took almost fifteen minutes to listen to Everett and do the once over of his ears, nose, and throat. We discussed the issues that we have had in the past and the concerns going forward with him and he genuinely seemed interested and concerned.  

After we had thoroughly discussed everything and he reviewed the medical records that we brought/had been sent over he told us that Everett has asthma.  Tyler and I (and pretty much everyone else) have known for quite some time that this was probably the case but we had been getting the run around on a diagnosis.  There seems to be some sort of insurance issue with diagnosis a child as young as Everett with asthma even if it is clear that is the case.  So after months of various different temporary symptom fixes we are so thankful that he finally has a diagnosis.  Obviously we are not happy that he has asthma but a diagnosis means that we can finally begin to manage his illness properly and not just treat the symptoms.  The doctor did note that he would like to do a few additional tests to completely rule out the scary things that I said you shouldn't google any other medical issues however he said he was confident that we have the correct diagnosis.  So now we have an aggressive treatment plan for his current cough/symptoms and a daily preventative plan to (fingers crossed) prevent flare ups like this from happening. 

So this is where we are now; a diagnosis and a plan! Hallelujah, thank you Father! And I want to thank you guys again for the prayers last night and today.  Our family truly appreciates the outpouring of love and support that we have received- this answered prayer is truly a testament to how great our God is. 

Your beloved needs you now...

My kid is sick.  He has been sick pretty much non stop since last October and probably even longer than that.  My kid has been sick pretty much non stop since October and it seems like there is nothing that I, nor any of his doctors can do about it. We have been to the emergency room and urgent care more times than I can count, we've seen his pediatrician and his allergist.  We have had tests, x-rays, and cultures done and they all come back fine.  His lungs sound clear, his puls-ox is great, but he continues to cough and produce extraordinary amounts of mucus for no known reason. If you ever find yourself in this situation, please for your own sanity DO NOT GOOGLE SYMPTOMS. You will end up in sitting on your couch in the middle of the night in tears.

He gets a little better for a day or two- sometimes even a handful of days but without fail he ends up snotty, coughing, and having trouble breathing again.  He is on so many different medications right now just to help his tiny two almost three year old body be able to breathe and it is not fair.  It's not fair that he has to be stuck inside doing nebulizer treatments one two three four times a day.  It's not fair that he is constantly being poked and prodded by every doctor in the county.  It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair.  He can't breathe. It breaks my heart to see him so sick all the time, to know that he knows nothing else but the life filled with sickness.  Despite all the tears he has cried, all the tantrums, and all the sleepless nights he is a trooper.  He is my world and I am incredibly blessed.  

So this is it.  This is the breaking point. Something is going to happen and answers are going to be found.  I am not going to make him go day after day being sick and not knowing why or how we can fix it.  We are going to walk through this and figure out what it is going to take to get answers and a plan.  God knows the answers and I fully trust that He will lead us to where they are.  I am done trying to control this and I am putting it in His hands. Lord, please hear my prayer.   

I Will Lift My Eyes

By Bebo Norman

God, my God, I cry out

Your beloved needs You now

God, be near calm my fear and take my doubt

Your kindness is what pulls me up

Your love is all that draws me in

I will lift my eyes to the Maker

of the mountains I can't climb

I will lift my eyes to the Calmer

of the oceans raging wild

I will lift my eyes to the Healer

of the hurt I hold inside

I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You

God, my God, let mercy sing

her melody over me

and God, right here all I bring

is all of me

Your kindness is what pulls me up

Your love is all that draws me in

I will lift my eyes to the Maker

of the mountains I can't climb

I will lift my eyes to the Calmer

of the oceans raging wild

I will lift my eyes to the Healer

of the hurt I hold inside

I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You

'Cause You are and You were and You will be forever

the Lover I need to save me

'Cause You fashioned the earth and You hold it together, God

so hold me now

I will lift my eyes to the Maker

of the mountains I can't climb

I will lift my eyes to the Calmer

of the oceans raging wild

I will lift my eyes to the Healer

of the hurt I hold inside

I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You

I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You

God, my God, I cry out

Your beloved needs You now

Mommy Thoughts

Just some thoughts on life and the progression of things as parents....

This first twenty years of our lives are pretty much all about us.  We are born to parents who feed and clothe us, let us live in their houses, love us, etc.  This segment is all about having fun and not having to worry about anyone else except for ourselves.  During our first twenty or so years some of us will meet "the one" and settle down, some of us will go to college (and hopefully graduate), go on trips out of the country, start working, and some of us will even have children. 

The second twenty+ years, especially if you have children is all about them.  We spend these years working for someone else, cleaning up after other people, feeding kids/spouses, and for the most part putting others needs in front of our own.  As parents we have a desire to give our kids what they need and want and put our desires on the back burner.  We also have a tendency to forget that this time will pass all too quickly and let the little things get to us.  

In the grand scheme of things, twenty  years is not very long at all but in the moment it can feel like forever. I know that I let insignificant things get under my skin and I get frustrated with my kids for things that won't matter an year day hour from now.  I love this saying:

The days are long but the years are short.

It is so true and I tell myself this a lot on days that Everett and I are butting heads.  I only have twenty years with them before  they "grow up" and leave the nest.  I want to make every day count, even the days that are "crappy" because before I realize it they will be graduating and off on their own.  We are only given today and I will do my best to ensure that today is great. 

Letters to Nolan: 2/18/14

Dear Nolan,

Well Mister Man you have decided that you are not a baby anymore.  No sir, not you! You want to do just what your big brother is doing and you don't care what it takes, you will do what he is doing. Anything that he is doing seems amazing to you and you are so happy to spend all your time with Everett. 

You don't really like to take naps by yourself, or even sleep by yourself at night. I don't blame you though, who wouldn't want to be snuggled up with someone else and sleep!?  When Sue is here she usually wears you in the Ergo for naps and if you're still tired when she leaves or if you need to take another nap I will wrap you up in our Little Frog woven wrap. You really like to "go up" and instantly relax once you're in your happy place on my back.  We have been learning all new ways to wear the wrap and you are very patient when I am learning a new carry. 

You are so happy almost all the time! When you are crawling around, you will stop and start clapping- it is so cute! I love watching you explore around the house and seeing how happy you are once you've found something that you haven't been able to get to before.  You are also learning the word "no" and so far you are actually responding well to it (which makes me happy).  You are a very determined little dude but you are also very content to listen to me... for now. 

Here's what you've been up to this past month: 

01/20/14: Started pulling up to your knees

02/01/14: Started pulling up to standing 

02/05/14: Saying "Da-da" when you see Daddy
02/18/15: Nine month well check- 21lbs 14oz (70th percentile), 28" long (60th percentile), started waving

Momma and daddy love you to the moon and all the way back! 

xoxoxox,

Momma

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For more Letters to Nolan, click here! 

For Letters to Everett, click here!

FBP: Resolved (February)

This year I resolved to creating monthly goals rather than yearly resolutions in hopes that I will stick to them and create better habits.  This month's goal was to go on a date with my husband- just my husband! This is a big thing for the two of us because we were always used to taking the boys with us when we went out.  The first time that Tyler and I went out without Everett was when I was pregnant with Nolan and we actually went to a Fredericksburg Family Birth Circle meeting! Now, we are able to get away every once in a while with just Nolan in tow but since Nolan was born we haven't taken the time to go out without our children. 

We received a gift card to Old Towne Steak and Seafood for Christmas and this past weekend we were happy to put it to good use! I called about a month ahead and made our reservation, then all we had to do was wait for the day to roll around. Well, the days have this funny habit of coming faster and faster and before we knew it, our date night was here! The boys were very excited about us going out because Rae Rae and Pig Paw (my parents) were coming over to babysit. 

When we got to the restaurant we were seated right away which made me happy that I called ahead and made the reservation! Tyler and I were seated and continued our conversation that we had started in the car.  Throughout the evening we were able to freely talk without having to break to pick up someone, change a diaper, play cars, etc.  We have been together since 2004 and even after almost ten years we can still talk all through the night! I am so thankful that we took the time to go out on a date, even though we LOVE our kids it is really nice to take the time to reconnect with each other.  When we got home the kids were quite excited to see us and we were excited to see them as well! Everett told us all about what he did while we were gone and Nolan was especially happy to see me so he could nurse. 

Have you ever taken time to go out with your spouse?  Do you think that it is something that should be a priority for couples? This is something that Tyler and I would like to start doing on a monthly basis, even if it is just to grab some ice cream at Carl's.  

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Have you liked my Facebook page yet? Please do! 

This post originally appeared on Not So Average Momma on Fredericksburg Parent.net! 

I Love My Life by Jim Arnold

A few weeks ago one a friend of Tyler and I posted this (below) on his facebook page.  Jim (or Jimbo as we call him) is one of the most happy people that I know.  He is down to earth, funny (intentional or not), and is almost always positive.  After reading what he wrote I knew I had to share it here for all of you to read! I hope it inspires you as much as it has inspired me! 

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I love my life.

Image courtesy of kangshutters
FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I can’t explain it, I just do. And with that said, I’m not writing this for me, I’m writing this for you. I’m writing it in hopes that if I can shed some light on it, the explanation will be bright enough for two. Or three. Or four. Or more. So here goes:

I love that first real moment in the morning, somewhere between your bed and your bathroom, where you realize the day has only just begun. Still foggy from sleep, a mirror full of steam, but it can clearly be seen how though today is just one of many that you’ve already lived, that it’s special. Whether the weather is dark, the path ahead is rough, or your feet are tired, you’re still here. You still have time.

I love smiling, to anyone and everyone, for no reason at all. It’s the simplest form of love you can give, and it spreads like wildfire. I love songs that make your heartbeat race, that remind you of old days, where things were simpler yet far more emotional, and send a rush of blood to your face. I love warm spring days with love in the air, and crisp falls days in sweat pants without a care, and any day with the sun is out and literally brightens your day. I love that moment you learn something new, and you feel just like a kid again, because even as you get old and used to the things you know, there will always be something you don’t. And that’s exciting. I love that burn in your chest or the soreness in your legs because you pushed yourself just a little too hard. That moment when “just keep going” turns into “sh*t, I've gone too far”. And you it makes you pay, but even in pain, you know that strength of heart makes you who you are. And that hurt reminds you it’s not forever.

I am not you, you are not me, and our emotional makeup will never be the same. There will be days of anger, days of smiles, and days where the tears fall like rain. But as long as you are breathing, smile and enjoy it. It’s life. There is no telling when the clock will run out, the last bell will ring, and the game will end, or even how game will go. But you’re always in charge of how you’ll play the game. Make the choice to play with passion. Play it with a smile on your face and a burn in your lungs.

Make the choice to love your life.

- Jim Arnold