Your beloved needs you now...

My kid is sick.  He has been sick pretty much non stop since last October and probably even longer than that.  My kid has been sick pretty much non stop since October and it seems like there is nothing that I, nor any of his doctors can do about it. We have been to the emergency room and urgent care more times than I can count, we've seen his pediatrician and his allergist.  We have had tests, x-rays, and cultures done and they all come back fine.  His lungs sound clear, his puls-ox is great, but he continues to cough and produce extraordinary amounts of mucus for no known reason. If you ever find yourself in this situation, please for your own sanity DO NOT GOOGLE SYMPTOMS. You will end up in sitting on your couch in the middle of the night in tears.

He gets a little better for a day or two- sometimes even a handful of days but without fail he ends up snotty, coughing, and having trouble breathing again.  He is on so many different medications right now just to help his tiny two almost three year old body be able to breathe and it is not fair.  It's not fair that he has to be stuck inside doing nebulizer treatments one two three four times a day.  It's not fair that he is constantly being poked and prodded by every doctor in the county.  It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair.  He can't breathe. It breaks my heart to see him so sick all the time, to know that he knows nothing else but the life filled with sickness.  Despite all the tears he has cried, all the tantrums, and all the sleepless nights he is a trooper.  He is my world and I am incredibly blessed.  

So this is it.  This is the breaking point. Something is going to happen and answers are going to be found.  I am not going to make him go day after day being sick and not knowing why or how we can fix it.  We are going to walk through this and figure out what it is going to take to get answers and a plan.  God knows the answers and I fully trust that He will lead us to where they are.  I am done trying to control this and I am putting it in His hands. Lord, please hear my prayer.   

I Will Lift My Eyes

By Bebo Norman

God, my God, I cry out

Your beloved needs You now

God, be near calm my fear and take my doubt

Your kindness is what pulls me up

Your love is all that draws me in

I will lift my eyes to the Maker

of the mountains I can't climb

I will lift my eyes to the Calmer

of the oceans raging wild

I will lift my eyes to the Healer

of the hurt I hold inside

I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You

God, my God, let mercy sing

her melody over me

and God, right here all I bring

is all of me

Your kindness is what pulls me up

Your love is all that draws me in

I will lift my eyes to the Maker

of the mountains I can't climb

I will lift my eyes to the Calmer

of the oceans raging wild

I will lift my eyes to the Healer

of the hurt I hold inside

I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You

'Cause You are and You were and You will be forever

the Lover I need to save me

'Cause You fashioned the earth and You hold it together, God

so hold me now

I will lift my eyes to the Maker

of the mountains I can't climb

I will lift my eyes to the Calmer

of the oceans raging wild

I will lift my eyes to the Healer

of the hurt I hold inside

I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You

I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You

God, my God, I cry out

Your beloved needs You now