Thoughts on trust...
Have you ever noticed how much trust babies have in their caregiver? I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Over the past 14 months we have traveled a fair amount with Everett and it doesn't matter where we go or what we do, he continues life as normal. There's no explanation to give about where we are going, when we will be back, etc. He is just as happy go lucky in a random hotel room or relatives house as he is at home.
I know that in time these things will come and he will question me about what we will do while we are gone, who we will see, etc. What makes kids start distrusting their parents? Is it something that they do to make them feel as if they can't be trusted?
What are your thoughts?
I find it really interesting that you asked this question. Attachment Theory (the socilogical theory that Attachment Parenting is loosely based on) addresses this issue. According to AT, a child will be trusting of the caregiver from birth (with the exception of organic disorders which hinder attachment such as prenatal brain damage or other similar disorders). The child then learns if that instinct is correct or incorrect based on experiences with the caregiver. If the caregiver is responsive and consistently available, the trust will be maintained. If not, the trust will diminish.
ReplyDeleteThis is how a secure or insecure attachment is formed. A child with a secure attachment is able to explore the world with minimal anxiety by using the caregiver as a secure base. You see this when a child is in a new environment and is exploring. The secure child may get anxious, but if they can look back and see the caregiver, they will overcome that anxiety quickly and continue to explore. The insecure child will not be comfortable exploring too far from the caregiver or may not be comforted by the caregiver's presence.
That may be more book-ish than you wanted, but I thought I'd share. :)
Thanks! We practice Attachment Parenting but haven't read that. I am glad you shared! :)
DeleteI think it's just that they begin to talk and can ask the questions. I don't think it is distrust as much as it is curiousity. As much as we love our kids I think they love us even more, if that is even possible. We all love/trust differently...one day you will know what your child's love language is and when you can love them the way THEY need to be loved, I don't think you will ever have to worry about trust. Just my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteLove you!
Thanks! :) Love ya!
DeleteI don't think it's not them not trusting us, it's that as they grow they have ideas of what they would like to do and the people they would like to see. So, ejoy it while you can my dear!
ReplyDeleteThanks!! I'm enjoying every minute! :)
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